Medieval Times?

May was a month of fiestas with the first two weekends of the month being given over to two of the towns, Santa Eulalia and Ibiza, where the respective Councils put on a show. I have posted some of the scenes from the Santa Eulalia event in the photos link. There were dozens of classic cars and motor cycles as well as a horse show, the inevitable "majorettes" and several local displays by folk groups.

Here is a slide show of the cars once it starts select "view full size" CAR SHOW

We had been to the first event in the town near here and decided to make a day of it the following weekend in Ibiza itself and what a day it was! They had taken over the whole of the old part of the town, Dalt Vila, which is very similar to Medina in Malta (for those that may have been there.) There were stalls selling all sorts of things ranging from local crafts and food, leather items, sweets and cakes in huge amounts. There were also bars and more stalls selling street food prepared in front of you and all fit to make your mouth water.

One aspect was the number of musicians who were roaming the streets playing a variety of medieval instruments including a rather fetching set of leather bagpipes! Not only did they look the part in their authentic looking costumes but in some cases, when we found ourselves a tad too close, they smelled authentically medieval too. I dare say BO was rather fashionable back then and any prospect of a antiperspirant deodorant several hundred years off! Of course all this was accompanied by the usual array of folk dancers and street performers, one group of which caught my eye as they were a troop of 15th Century harlots... suitably dressed and missing a few teeth, I am sure to make them more attractive to the discerning male of the era. It was my misfortune to find myself caught up in this little troop of ladies who capered about me until one of their more colourful "ladies" sporting a vivid red wig and equally very red lips grasped me by the head. Before I could slip away into the crowd, this rather tall and bearded "lady" planted a very wet and very red kiss on my forehead. Rescued by Mrs H I was hustled away and the big red lipstick lips removed from my forehead - Oh I do wish I had my camera with me.

Perhaps this should serve as a warning for any of my readers who may ever visit Spain during the May Fiesta!

CHANGING WHEELS

I had another one of those "first for many years" experiences the other day, when I had a puncture and had to put the spare on. Easy I thought, no problem with that 'cos I have done it loads of times (20 years ago!) - I move the car to a level spot and embarrassingly have to get the manual to work out where the jack points were on the car. Well I have never had a Peugeot before! Find the jack and struggle to get the filthy dirty spare from under the car before I decide I need a pair of gloves to protect my by now dishwasher safe hands that are fast at risk of getting soiled by the tyre!

Once I have the jack positioned and the tyre ready for fitting, I start to wind the jack up having put a chock in front of the car and made sure I am not under it. Excellent I think as the car slowly rises to the point where I now need to loosen the wheel nuts, which are surprisingly easy to loosen. As the car rises I suddenly become aware that the car does not seem to have risen enough for me to rotate the wheel and remove it. I notice also that the jack seems to have sunk an inch into the ground and the car was leaning at a dangerous angle that was by now jamming the jack into the underside of the car. Quickly loosening the jack and lowering the car, I now need to obtain a solid surface on which to place the jack to stop it sinking (why didn't I move the car into the very large garage to do this I thought.... but it's too late for that now as the weight of the car seems to be entirely on the loose wheel and rather inadequate jack! Dragging a large flat slab of near granite to the underside of the car and placing the jack on it I start the process over again only to see the jack start to buckle under the weight of the car. It was at this stage that I decided to stop and take stock but even as I considered the next steps the jack squealed, the threaded rod running the centre of the jack is now curved and the nylon grommets have exploded into a dozen pieces.

What next then ... easy. I put the whole thing back together and drove down to the village of San Carlos and went into the garage and for the princely sum of €8 they changed the tyre and repaired the offending puncture all in about 10 minutes. So next I have to go to Ibiza town to the Peugeot main agent and order a new jack. Well let me tell you that I am not looking forward to that as I have now discovered that the word for a "jack" is "gato" which for some strange reason is also the word for Cat!!

Mrs H had a vision of me going into the spares department and leaving with a fluffy white kitten (which presumably I can keep in the boot of the car) - Can you train cats to jack up cars?

WEATHER

In short, it's been terrible for the best part of May. We have had a few really nice days that we took advantage of and sunbathed but were eventually beaten by the dreadful wind and rain that has been such a dampener for the holiday makers who have now started coming here in some numbers.

I am assured by most people here that this is not usual weather for May and it is sure to be better and back to normal in June.

VISITORS

The Royal Navy was here this week, HMS Albion docked on its way south to Africa with a group of 300 volunteers who are going to teach/train local people in Nigeria and Sierra Leone . The ship attracted a lot of attention and all the local dignitaries visited. My attempt to stowaway was foiled by Mrs H who had been out looking for the press gang in an effort to have me hauled off to sea for a few years.

DRIVERS

I have long been ranting to Mrs H about the recklessness of the local red blooded latin drivers here in Ibiza. They are foolhardy beyond your wildest imagination, overtaking at the most dangerous point on the road they can find, overtaking only to gain a single car space in front of you or to simply slip into a car parking space nearly causing you to crash headlong into them. I am still not convinced that the rear view mirror supplied in all cars in Ibiza has any purpose what so ever, perhaps other than for personal grooming.

With all this in mind, I was going to write about my experiences on the roundabouts here but when reading the local Ibiza Sun newspaper I picked up this extract from "my friend" contributor, Juan who you will recall I wrote in response to some time ago.

Here is his contribution:

I was driving into Eivissa and came to a roundabout and thought I must warn our visitors to Ibiza about the strange and dangerous technique Spanish drivers have been taught on how to negotiate their way round a roundabout.

Right I will try and make this understandable. The roundabout is like a watch dial. On this roundabout there are exits at 6 o'clock, 3 o'clock, 12 o'clock and 9 o'clock.

You are approaching the roundabout from the 6 o'clock position and are planning to exit at the 12 o'clock position so you drive up to the left/ outside lane.

The danger is that you assume that the person on the inside lane is going to exit at 3 o'clock or 12 o'clock - not necessarily so, if they are Spanish.

The Highway Code in Spain says that if you are going to exit at 9 o'clock or even back at 6 o'clock you should be on the right/inside lane!!!! I do not know when they are ever meant to use the left/outside lane! So beware at any roundabout the inside car could well be going to carry on round the roundabout.
I have been caught with this several times so having your wits about you is essential or you will find yourself taking a hit on your no claims discount!

Foul Odours

One of our little bugbears here has been a deeply unpleasant smell emanating from the shower room and oozing its way into the rest of the house from time to time. We initially and correctly identified the source of the smell to be the septic tank (clearly we are not on mains drainage here) which is situated a short distance from the house and which has an outlet into a soak away at some vague position a long distance from the house - we know not where! Also, the smell seemed to get considerably worse when there was a northerly wind blowing which added even greater mystery to the problem and how to solve it. We have spent euro upon euro on bleaches, drain cleaners, toilet deodorisers, and constant extra flushing of the nearest inspection traps to the house, one of which I had fitted a deodoriser into on a short length of wire to add a more positive smell! Well, none of this seemed to work and with visitors due in June and as we dare not leave a window open all day now given the risk of being robbed again, in desperation, we resorted to the Internet.

Most answers to the problem, I am loath to use the expression "solutions to the probe" were UK based and also applied to modern septic tank technology and as I was not sure of the design of our little tank I had little hope of finding an answer. Then by pure chance I found a garden centre in the Midlands who were advertising a product that you put down the loo once a week and it re-activates the bacteria that breaks down the ...... lets not go into too much detail here.

So I promptly ordered some the magic potion by phone (yes!! the phone had some use at last) and then prayed it was here before our visitors. Then just as I was about to move off the subject of smells I spotted an Ex-Pat forum talking about smelly septic tanks and how a couple of tubs of yoghurt put down will restart the reaction in the tank but under no circumstances put down bleach or caustic soda because that will only make matters worse. The I spotted the real clincher... it said.. "if all else fails check the base of your WC to make sure there is a seal between it and the floor" as, it went on, "most Spanish toilets don't have an S bend, the toilet goes straight down through the floor into the foul water pipe"

We went and checked the loo and sure enough there was no silicon seal between it and the floor! So grabbing a tube of silicon sealant I promptly filled the small gap around the base of the toilet bowl and believe it or not... NO SMELL!!! - All that remains now is to see what happens over the next few days.

This month we see three family members who are staying with us for a week so we have been busy getting ready with additional sun beds, a parasol and a brand spanking new BBQ.... we have an itinerary that we hope we can follow... but the best laid plans and all that.