Alesha Dixon and Darcey Bussell on Strictly Come Dancing

Sunday morning, I wake up to this “news”, I quote from the “Sun” of course, (Not my paper of choice ) posted as a headline on an Internet Web Page – the headline goes:

“Fans blast ‘spoilt’ Alesha Dixon and ‘boring’ Darcey Bussell on Strictly Come Dancing”. 

Now this caught my attention only because I am a keen viewer of Strictly Come Dancing rather than an avid fan or just plain fan.  I like to watch the dancers progress in a manner that I would never have achieved in my ballroom dancing lesson days under the watchful eye of the late Howard from Selsey who was the most patient of teachers.  I could not and still cannot dance.  While we were having lessons we went to a company dance one evening and I had to position myself in the same corner of the dance floor so that I could remember what I had been taught… fortunately for the world of dance, I have given up.
OK back to “Strictly”.  I have been ranting for weeks now, in fact ever since the arrival of Alesha and the departure of the sometimes acerbic Arlene Philips who whilst older than Alesha she was after all a  professional dancer and I thought entitled to be a critic of the competitors.  However, Alesha could have perhaps got away with this had she been able to actually express herself in other than than show biz clichés and appalling grammar.  In other words better to say “that dance was very good and you were better than last week” than “that was yours, you owned it and you was better than you was last week”.  There was a brief period a couple of weeks ago when I was shaken to the very roots to hear Alesha (I am still worried about the spelling of her name actually) utter a whole sentence with neither cliché or misuse of the past tense.  Sadly the clichés and grammar are still driving me mad and added to that now is the simmering presence of no doubt fragrant and former prima ballerina Darcy Bussell who has joined as a judge for a short period.  Visually another item of BBC Strictly “eye candy” she has the right to criticise as far as I am concerned, her grammar is perfect and her speech clear and happily no clichés.  But oh so dull.  I wanted to see her strike out at the pompous acid tongued Craig Revel Horwood, or poke of Len in the ribs for his over enthusing or better still remind Alesha that she can’t dance!!!!!
So it’s back to the screen next week for the Final, will it be Chris or Ricky?  Who knows but what I know is that they only have to bring on the “dancing girls” to make my night!

"The One Show" BBC TV

If it were possible to tranquillise Christine Bleakley on live TV then I would be first in line to administer the heavy does of Ketamine that she clearly needs at the moment. This vision of flashing toothed, tanned beauty I so admired early on in "The One Show" has started to become almost hysterical at times when interviewing some of the more flamboyant or, dare I suggest, more attractive guests which pop up in this eclectic early evening programme on BBC TV. Her laughter starts to sound more like that of an inmate of Bedlam rather than the cheeky (toothsome, tanned , leggy... stop! I have to keep focused) young thing she is. Her tan, which I understand is sprayed on by a specially selected blind, Northern Irish eunuch using a radar controlled spray gun is perfectly Café Latte. Sorry, I am drifting off again. Her tan during one of her more hysterical moments ranged from a creamy coffee, through dark tan shoe polish to a lively reddish glowing brown, she was hot!. By this stage I can take no more and find myself torn between great arousal or great indignation each combined with a full rant at the TV screen (much to the annoyance of one lady who shall remain anonymous at this time - 'cos she is sitting here with me!). I also have to mention Christine's wardrobe, which I find rather mysterious, which can never be predicted except to say that the skirts do get shorter by the week, hence the "leggy" comment earlier... he ankles don't do it for me though which I say only to be cruel! I seem to be neglecting dear old (No, I am not having an affair with CB) Chiles. Who's range of "businessman trying to look casual and failing miserably" shirts simply ranges from blue to bluish. He did wear shorts once but lets not dwell on that. I so preferred him doing "Business Lunch" I knew exactly what he was about then but sadly not this incarnation. Is he a comic (no) is he a wit ( he tries) or is he simply a redundant business reporter? I leave you to make your own conclusions on that question.

Finally I have to mention the madness of BBC and "The One show" in their operation of petty, daft, useless, stupid, unnecessary and pandering to "Political Correctness". We have seen the departure of the shows finest eccentric, Carol Thatcher over comments made that none of us heard after an allegation by someone we can't identify and recently the suspension for some unspecified incident that someone complained about yet the details of which are unknown. They did do a slot on the more daft examples of PC but all the time you can see the "trend" they have towards being a tad over sensitive... watch and see.... Personally I think the "production team" are the culprits .. probably so PC they pick up the Guardian with tweezers!

Here is an item from The One Show.. just to show I am impartial ( Not!)