It's been a long time since I came here to rant and rave or otherwise offer my views on life in general so I thought it time I got back on the horse so to speak and started again.
So what's been occurring as Nessa in Gavin & Stacey would say. Well we have moved from Chichester now, having been driven out by the massive influx of students, particularly the 20 occupied four of the six houses in the terrace where we and Mrs. H and I had been so happy.
Anyway, enough of that and more of my writings and observations on life and living in general.
I'll not say where we are holed up these days as I don't want to be tracked down by vengeful academics, former nearby residents who I may have upset over time or enraged letter writers in the Chichester Observer. Suffice to say, it is peaceful and nice student free where we are now.
The British Weather
American readers, if there are any left reading this after my long absence, will have no trouble recognising our "English weather is so funny with all that rain". The British, as we English are, have long been accused of being obsessed by the weather but is that fair? When I have been to America and I have been several times, I have always been astonished by the number of weather dedicated programmes on TV and level of detail presented, so who is really "obsessed" by the weather? Given the very small number of programmes here, I think you can guess, it's not us!!
Mind you, the weather has been the worst I can remember in terms of rainfall for a long long time. There have been floods of course and Chichester was once famously cut off from the rest of West Sussex some years ago finally being rescued by the army who built a Bailey Bridge and West Sussex Fire and Rescue who pumped a vast amount of water out into Chichester Harbour.
But enough of this, the sun is out at last and spring must have finally sprung and let's hope it holds out.
Friends
Keeping friends "on side" is too complex to discuss or debate but suffice to say that unlike relatives, you are not stuck with them! The simple truth is that you can't trust a soul not even close friends and that's the sad thing.
Eating out
Monday 1 October 2018
Tuesday 1 October 2013
Just One Word
After another extended period of not writing my blog, I'm back and ready to launch forth a begging request for the use of, "just one word".
Have you ever been standing in a shop, in a queue or for my American readers, a line, waiting your turn to part with your well earned cash when you hear those fateful words. Are you ready for this?
The missing word, no doubt as illiusive as "the missing link" is, yes you have guessed it.... is
Have you ever been standing in a shop, in a queue or for my American readers, a line, waiting your turn to part with your well earned cash when you hear those fateful words. Are you ready for this?
"Can I 'elp?"
This call is usually delivered in a kind of bored, couldn't care less, dullard tone that makes me want to scream "yes you can you dolt but only if you say expleteive deleted please" Yes, that one word would make the world of difference. It would stop this expletive bursting from me for a start and it would sound to me, even if it were not true, that the person calling out to me actually did want to help me part with my money. Alas, they don't actually care and to demonstrate so that use the absolute minimum of words to illustrate their disinterest.
It happens in almost every kind of place where "Service" is to be offered, shops, the post office, local governement offices and even the police, who don't even utter a single "hello, hello, hello " these days either.
The missing word, no doubt as illiusive as "the missing link" is, yes you have guessed it.... is
P L E A S E
Comments please, but not to me. No, next time you hear the shout "can I 'elp" just shout out
"please"! Then when collecting your purchase again repeat the word, Pleaseeee. Perhaps then the sales person will get the message.
Can I help you?
May I help?
Next please?
Wednesday 3 July 2013
DYSTOPIAN SHOPPING
This week I created my eclectic store on line... called http://dystopia.tictail.com/ and in my own words I invite everyone to visit.
Welcome to my shop of an eclectic mix of used items all of which in very good, if not, excellent condition.
Some however are what you would expect a well used or vintage item may be and I do my best to describe these items as best I can.
My aim is to make a range of Household items, collectable (Military and other), books, DVD's, music CD's, photographs, greetings cards (some to order) all available at reasonable "second hand" prices.
You don't have to go to Ebay to find the unusual do you?
So, don't miss a bargain, keep visiting and looking!
One more thing, you are welcome to barter with me on any item.
Always remember, if you don't ask, you don't get!
Why Dystopia you may ask?
Well, no reason really, I just wanted to catch someone eye!
Welcome to my shop of an eclectic mix of used items all of which in very good, if not, excellent condition.
Some however are what you would expect a well used or vintage item may be and I do my best to describe these items as best I can.
My aim is to make a range of Household items, collectable (Military and other), books, DVD's, music CD's, photographs, greetings cards (some to order) all available at reasonable "second hand" prices.
You don't have to go to Ebay to find the unusual do you?
So, don't miss a bargain, keep visiting and looking!
One more thing, you are welcome to barter with me on any item.
Always remember, if you don't ask, you don't get!
Tuesday 30 April 2013
A Verbal Tic!
Well, here I am again after a long break from the Blog and with it nearly May Day and I thought that a break of eight months was more than enough time to leave between blogs, so here goes!
It was only a few days ago that I realised that I had developed a tic. Not a tic under the eye or a twitch of the mouth but a verbal tic. No not a tic like the poor souls who suffer the verbal and physical tics of Tourettes syndrome but one of my own making, all about the making of a nice cup of tea.
Being both English, of a certain age and retired, I am a great consumer of tea and other beverages including liberal doses of coffee and booze. Anyway this is about tea which these days the blend of tea I drink varies from straight down to earth stand your spoon up in "builders tea" (in truth I have not drunk this blend for over 40 years) to the pale and fragrant Earl Grey and my present blend of choice, Kenyan.
Now, I like to think that I am a man who shares his domestic responsibilities with a hardworking a long suffering partner. Heavens, I cut the grass in the summer, I perform a variety of minor DIY jobs about the house (changing light bulbs mainly these days) and when on cleaning day, I do the dusting from top to bottom. Despite my willingness to do so, I am not permitted to iron or undertake any laundering under any but the most dire of emergencies. I am however an accomplished ironer of shorts and trousers from days in the army and I do make tea first thing in the morning and go on to share in the preparation, or so I thought, of an equal number of brewings of tea during the rest of the day. Having said this I am inclined think that my partner would argue this point as she seems to drink more tea than I do and therefore possibly makes more. So, here's the thing. It is precisely because she drinks more tea than I do that the sharing thing gets a bit unbalanced and I have noticed that my response to her question "would you like a cuppa" has increasingly become, what shall I say, noticeable.
Let me explain. Take most afternoons and evenings, I am slumped in font of the TV catching up on late night recorded TV when I am asked that question, "would you like a cuppa". Admittedly we had not had a cuppa for about an hour or so and it was probably my turn to make one, but put simply, I hadn't felt like having another one anyway and had remained "slumped". At least this was the case until I was asked again and then, it was out, the "verbal tic".
I wasn't to know it was a "verbal tic" at the exact moment of utterance. that realization was to come some weeks later when being asked, "would you like a cuppa".
The conversation goes like this:
She: Tea?
Me: Oh! Yes please. - Mistake #1
She: OK
Later:
She: Ready for another tea?
Me: Oh! Yes please. - mistake #2
She: OK
Still Later:
She: Another cup of tea?
Me: Oh!, no thanks. - mistake #3
Even Later:
She: Tea?
Me: Oh! Yes please - mistake #4 AND the "verbal tic" is established.
I need not go on about the frequency of these tea offerings, I just wanted to illustrate a pattern of a developing use of speech that has now become so much of a "problem" I was forced to admit to it to my long suffering "Char Wallah"...sorry partner.
The "tic"? "I have to stop saying "oh" every time you ask me if I want a cup of tea" I said one day earlier this week to the bearer of tea. "Yes I know" she replied with just a hint of gritted teeth. "I've noticed you saying that "oh" word a lot lately and I was going to say something", she said.
There, you have it, I have been affecting surprise each time a cup of tea was being offered when what I should have been doing was leaping to my feet and making the tea myself. I had missed the signals, I had got away with it for several weeks and I had got off lightly. But no more, now I have to concentrate on not blurting out "oh" each time it's her time to make the tea and of course I have to make the tea myself more often.
Now, I say, "yes please, but "oh" do let me make it".
It was only a few days ago that I realised that I had developed a tic. Not a tic under the eye or a twitch of the mouth but a verbal tic. No not a tic like the poor souls who suffer the verbal and physical tics of Tourettes syndrome but one of my own making, all about the making of a nice cup of tea.
Being both English, of a certain age and retired, I am a great consumer of tea and other beverages including liberal doses of coffee and booze. Anyway this is about tea which these days the blend of tea I drink varies from straight down to earth stand your spoon up in "builders tea" (in truth I have not drunk this blend for over 40 years) to the pale and fragrant Earl Grey and my present blend of choice, Kenyan.
Now, I like to think that I am a man who shares his domestic responsibilities with a hardworking a long suffering partner. Heavens, I cut the grass in the summer, I perform a variety of minor DIY jobs about the house (changing light bulbs mainly these days) and when on cleaning day, I do the dusting from top to bottom. Despite my willingness to do so, I am not permitted to iron or undertake any laundering under any but the most dire of emergencies. I am however an accomplished ironer of shorts and trousers from days in the army and I do make tea first thing in the morning and go on to share in the preparation, or so I thought, of an equal number of brewings of tea during the rest of the day. Having said this I am inclined think that my partner would argue this point as she seems to drink more tea than I do and therefore possibly makes more. So, here's the thing. It is precisely because she drinks more tea than I do that the sharing thing gets a bit unbalanced and I have noticed that my response to her question "would you like a cuppa" has increasingly become, what shall I say, noticeable.
Let me explain. Take most afternoons and evenings, I am slumped in font of the TV catching up on late night recorded TV when I am asked that question, "would you like a cuppa". Admittedly we had not had a cuppa for about an hour or so and it was probably my turn to make one, but put simply, I hadn't felt like having another one anyway and had remained "slumped". At least this was the case until I was asked again and then, it was out, the "verbal tic".
I wasn't to know it was a "verbal tic" at the exact moment of utterance. that realization was to come some weeks later when being asked, "would you like a cuppa".
The conversation goes like this:
She: Tea?
Me: Oh! Yes please. - Mistake #1
She: OK
Later:
She: Ready for another tea?
Me: Oh! Yes please. - mistake #2
She: OK
Still Later:
She: Another cup of tea?
Me: Oh!, no thanks. - mistake #3
Even Later:
She: Tea?
Me: Oh! Yes please - mistake #4 AND the "verbal tic" is established.
I need not go on about the frequency of these tea offerings, I just wanted to illustrate a pattern of a developing use of speech that has now become so much of a "problem" I was forced to admit to it to my long suffering "Char Wallah"...sorry partner.
The "tic"? "I have to stop saying "oh" every time you ask me if I want a cup of tea" I said one day earlier this week to the bearer of tea. "Yes I know" she replied with just a hint of gritted teeth. "I've noticed you saying that "oh" word a lot lately and I was going to say something", she said.
There, you have it, I have been affecting surprise each time a cup of tea was being offered when what I should have been doing was leaping to my feet and making the tea myself. I had missed the signals, I had got away with it for several weeks and I had got off lightly. But no more, now I have to concentrate on not blurting out "oh" each time it's her time to make the tea and of course I have to make the tea myself more often.
Now, I say, "yes please, but "oh" do let me make it".
Sunday 9 September 2012
Move 'em in, Move 'em out, Rawhide!
Never had I felt the words of the old TV cowboy, "Rawhide" seem to apt as they do today.
Move 'em on, head 'em up,
Head 'em up, move 'em out,
Move 'em on, head 'em out Rawhide!
Set 'em out, ride 'em in
Ride 'em in, let 'em out,
Cut 'em out, ride 'em in Rawhide.
Head 'em up, move 'em out,
Move 'em on, head 'em out Rawhide!
Set 'em out, ride 'em in
Ride 'em in, let 'em out,
Cut 'em out, ride 'em in Rawhide.
(a new song for buy-to-let student landlords perhaps)
It's the beginning of September here in dear old ailing yet surviving recession hit UK and those new university students who seem to have overcome the fear of student debt, loans and tuition fees are taking up residence all over the City. Now some with be living on campus but the vast majority it seems will be living next door to us! I exaggerate I know, but that is how I feel right now.
We live in a terrace of modern houses with the usual array of fixtures, fittings and paper thin dividing walls that make up most of today's new builds in modern Britain. But it seems that the old fashioned concept of "student digs" has long gone as these 21st Century future sports, therapists, musicians and actors will only accept a brand new (or nearly new) house to share with central heating, 42" TV and all the usual appliances associated with a family home. Good luck to them is all I can say and well done for bettering yourselves.
OK, it's not their fault, well perhaps it will be, that they are going to be annoying me with their youthful exuberance and noisy comings and goings at all hours or the day and night. No, it's their landlords that are going to get the brunt of my temper tantrums when things get out of kilter.
Take our nearest house of sin as dear old Rigsby in "Rising Damp" always looked upon his lodging students in the 1970's TV sitcom, it will house six youngsters. Yes six! Can you for one moment just imagine six teenagers, two of whom I am assured are female, living in close testosterone, oestrogen, progesterone and emotionally charged proximity? No I can't either but I can only fear for the worst that once these future leaders of British society (OK, how can I know that) are released from parental control for the first time.
The next issue I have is with the very negative effect this has had on the value of our home. This was the home where we planned to see out our days in and then near the end sell it to move somewhere smaller and perhaps better. But our hopes are dashed by the somewhat inconsiderate actions of our former neighbours who all but "did a moonlight" to escape the noise of only THREE students next to them. I forgot to say that in our terrace of six houses only two are owner occupied with the remaining four housing a total of 18 students. Forgive me for feeling let down.
So, our neighbours. Having lulled us into a false sense of security telling us they were going to make some improvements to their house by adding "sound proofing" went on to drive us insane by the constant racket as the builders ripped at their house. The owner cleared off in the day to let us suffer the racket. Then we were told that there would be two lodgers who were nice quiet professional people who would be quiet as mice. Hmmmmm, almost right there.
Next the lodgers vanished and then things really started to get odd. Plants and containers vanished from the garden, a bird nesting box went, then a van turned up and furniture went. Still nothing was said and we saw nothing of our neighbours who we thought were on holiday. So after a swift email to them asking after their health and well being the truth was out!
"We have decided to rent the house to students". Words failed me, I was shocked but not surprised if that can be possible. I don't think, looking back, that I trusted the people is probably why I was not surprised. Anyway, "we knew you would be upset", yeah right! Only upset because you didn't have the common decency just to warn us. We didn't care what they did to the house, that's up to them. But it was been so underhand about it that really upset us.
We were then given all sorts of sob stories which I wont bore you (or me) with here but suffice to say we were to expect four lovely polite well mannered students who would be studying music and the arts. Hah! Rubbish, we have six of the blighters crammed into what was a three bedroom house. To make matters even worse our errant former neighbours seem to have forgotten that their quarter of a million pound investment is actually a house and a home. The grass often reaches a foot high and their plants and shrubs nearing Brazilian rain forest proportions. The exterior of the house, the windows and paintwork have not seen a clean in three and a half years and at one stage having got fed up with the need to email the owners asking that the grass be cut so that we don't have to look out over a pasture I took a bucket of water to the front door and washed it down. It then took me an hour to clean the cloth and sponge I had used as they were so impregnated with filth.
So this week the first three have moved in. We really do fear for our peace and tranquility and I wonder, sanity? I have decided to beg some early respite from our new student neighbours by just writing to remind them them we are retired, the couple of the opposite end are workers and opposite there are families with young children and would our new neighbours make sure they have some consideration when coming and going late at night.
I live in hope that we don't have any problems and that we can sell our house and escape this madness all together and live somewhere far from a university and never trust a neighbours good words again.
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