It’s a Dogs Life

Here I was sitting having a “flat white” and contemplating the various dogs that were to be seen passing in the town and the uses they had and their owners.  Well this deeply spiritual thinking then turned to the idea that you don’t really need a German Shepherd to be a police dog or guard dog, or a spaniel to be a drug searcher or a greyhound to run or a St Bernard to trek around the Alps looking for buried skiers.  Why not have dogs do different things?  Now my favourite dog is the Parson Jack Russell, which should not be confused with the plain old Jack Russell.  Just to explain… here are some photographs!

Parsons Jack Russell                     Jack Russell 

  

One, the Parsons Jack Russell (PJR) is recognised by the Kennel Club and the other not.  But that’s not my  reasons for preferring the rougher coated Parsons, it just look far more “naughty” !

During these musings I started to think of the PJR in all sorts of new guise, for example as a sheep dog. Imagine if you can this little tyke running up and down at the command and leaping over the backs sheep, perhaps at Gatwick airport you would see several PJR’s rushing about the passengers sniffing out any “illegal substances”  or even the occasional PJR Guide Dog!   But I think the very best use for one of these little gems is for queue jumping!  Yes, queue jumping, particularly if you are in Costa Coffee where getting a free seat for two can be a problem sometimes.  So, my plan is send in the dogs!  Picture this, you arrive at your favourite cafe of coffee shop and there is a queue that people are already jumping.  So, with your smart little PJR in tow you simply give the “seek table” command and off shoots little Jack.  By the time you reach the counter, order and take your coffee little Jack will be found sitting at a table to two and defying anyone to come near by barring his teeth and growling.  Perfect!

So that is just a few uses I first thought of but how about this final one before I leave you to consider any other uses.

Jack Russell Sleigh Dogs!!

Please leave comments and lets see just how many innovative ideas you can come up with!

Meetings, Bloody Meetings!

Who remembers that training video that was put out by John Cleese Training?  It was very funny at the time and I recall that no matter how many times we were shown when working at IBM and in the years following with other employers, the number and duration of meetings NEVER went down!   I have sat in meetings wondering  why I was there, wondering what the meeting was about, sleeping at one time and even chairing a meeting I wasn’t able to stop!

When I retired I swore that I would avoid meetings and largely I have.  Except for the odd regimental association committee meeting that no one wanted to be at so progressed with great speed towards the nearest bar.

Now, it seems I have found my self involuntarily attending someone else's meetings and I am not even at work or in a workplace.  No, I am sitting or trying to find a seat in Costa’s Coffee where I live.  Most of the time finding a couple of free seats where we can enjoy our daily “Flat White” (with THREE shots of espresso) and doing the crossword is easy.  But often we have to both prevent queue jumpers dashing from the back of the queue by carefully interfering with their progress and snatching the seats away from them just in time.

The bad news is that once we have secured our seats we find ourselves next to a group (well at least two people and sometimes more) in the midst of a business meeting.  Laptop open, notes spread all over the table, intense and sincere looks on their eager faces and talking the talk.  Oh yes, invariably resplendent in a business suit, corporate ID slung around their necks, Cross pens glinting in the sunlight, if they are near the window, buzz words bursting from their lips like spittle!

I have had enough of the parade of Local Authority, Local Government, Local School Governors,  Salespeople, Arts and the theatre “luvvies” and heavens knows who else taking over the only place where you can get a decent drink of coffee!

I went as far as writing to both the Chief Executives of the County Council and the District Council about the matter and am sorry to report that only ONE had the good manners to reply in a prompt, constructive and conciliatory manner.  The one from the District Council simply ignored me.

I was thinking of asking Costa’s to make their Coffee shops “business meeting free areas” but I can’t see that they want to see a decline in their revenue based on the rants of me and I can’t say I blame them.  I even considered leaving small, neat and conveniently placed post it notes begging that those tempted to hold a “business meeting” in Costa’s, think twice and leave the business at work!

So the next time, any of you who may be reading this please, remember that the bloke looking over your shoulder or peeking at your minutes or jabbing a finger your at your laptop and demanding “scroll down scroll down”  will be me and you better have an status update by 09:00 the next morning!

Please please please, no more meetings in PUBLIC places! Costa’s is for COFFEE not for MEETINGS!

PS:  I did once and only once hold a meeting Costa’s coffee but I was very quiet and very discrete and took no notes!

Another Flat White Please

We are Costa fans and have a coffee there almost every day.  We have ONE favourite Costa outlet and that is our local one in Chichester. 

Why is it our favourite?  Because the staff are polite, friendly and take the time to remember who you are.

Not only that, they also are keen to make a great cup of coffee and as far as I am concerned make a “benchmark” Flat White. 

Now we also have to recognise that a Costa branch in Brighton, perhaps not as friendly as Chichester but certainly as efficient, is also very good in terms of their Flat White’s.

Without doubt whilst we have sampled Costa coffees in Salisbury, Guildford, Portsmouth and Southampton I have to say that the Southampton branches are far and away the very worst coffee drinking experience in terms of our Flat White’s.  We have tried four out of the five outlets we know of in Southampton and not one has been able to produce a really good drink.  The staff are polite but that is as about as far as it goes as I don’t think they have a passion for coffee making.

Our last Flat White experience in Southampton was so bad I was compelled to be honest with the poor unfortunate barista who had made the drinks.  Who, despite my declaration that “this coffee is not very good looking” to “frankly,  this coffee is not at all good” and “can I have the milk topped up please” – was met with a somewhat odd, bemused or uncomprehending grin from the unfortunate barista on the receiving end of my rather restrained tongue lashing.

All in all the drink was not made with any degree of care.  The milk slopped in and the finish (normally a sort of tulip shape) was just not present!

So sorry Southampton, outside Waterstone’s the one inside Waterstone’s plus the one at the top of the West Quay Mall, you have failed us in our search for a really good Flat White!

Chichester however scores a resounding 10/10 if you combine the welcome, the service and the coffee.

A “Flat White” please!

All I have to say about this arrival in UK coffee shops from Australia / New Zealand is that we are hooked.  Val and I were both hardened Latte [extra hot] and Americano [with hot milk] until this coffee masterpiece arrived.  We are now both hooked on this creamy “coffee beverage prepared by pouring steamed milk from the bottom of steaming pitcher over a single shot (30ml) or double shot (60ml) of espresso” – yes, it’s a winner.  There is however a very big “but” to warn those of you who may wish to try one of these drinks out.

1.  The barista must take time to make the drink.  You don’t want it to be rushed as to do so ruins the effect.

2. It has to be hot!

3. Don’t let the surly barista with the indeterminate non-British dialect slop the coffee all over the saucer and then all but throw its replacement at you when it arrives back at your table.

4. Make sure you praise the barista who makes you a good one and tells you which is the better of the two [if you order two that is]

Recently we visited two Costa Coffee outlets in Southampton and suffered a Flat white as I have described in points 1 & 3 and in an outlet in Waitrose in Chichester also had a bit of a “devil may care” prepared flat white that left much to be desired and me with 1000 extra loyalty points on my Costa card by way of compensation! I just love Whitbread now and not just for its beer either!

By far the best flat whites we ever had were from a Costa in Brighton which in fairness we have to say that our local Chichester branch is very close indeed. 

I commend this little gem of a coffee to those of you who may prefer a novel beverage and yet not lose the taste of a espresso!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flat_white